If I Could Channel Joe

CHANNELING JOE

A letter to Trump folks.

 

I honestly get why you voted for him. He identified your real troubles and promised he knew how to fix them and that he cared. Neither of those things turned out to be true. He gave you promises and in some cases someone to blame for your troubles. I get it. I respect you desire to make your life and your family’s life better. 

 

Even though you saw his dishonesty in some areas and his disrespect, you gave him the benefit of the doubt. You trusted that he would grow in to the presidency and wouldn’t forget his promises to you.  I’m truly sorry that it didn’t happen. Instead he gave huge tax breaks and favors to the rich and to friends and family and ignored his promises to you. I can’ t read his heart and know if he’s capable of the kind of care and empathy he promised. It doesn’t matter. It didn’t happen. 

 

Now it’s annoying when friends and family try to show you how wrong you were and that you have basically been abandoned in favor of those like him. It’s never easy to face that you might have made a mistake and more troubling when it keeps being pointed out to you.

 

I’m not going to make you unrealistic promises. And blame? there’s enough to go around, but I want to focus on solutions. My promise is to focus on health and jobs, and I will respect you enough to tell you the truth and not use you to pump up my own ego. We’ve been put in a bad hole and we need to work together to dig out.

 

You can see in your own communities jobs that need to be done to improve our infrastructure and employ people at all levels. Recouping some of the tax gift he gave to the 1% could fund many of those projects. But he has even sold short many of the generous wealthy in this country. believing them to be as greedy and self-serving as he is. There are many people in our country with great wealth who have done great things. With the right recognition and encouragement, they are ready to do more. They appreciate that this country has offered them the opportunity to build that wealth and they want to give back. Some understand that real power isn’t just in accumulating more wealth or having a house with 20 bedroom or 20 bathrooms, it is in seeing what you have created in society’s well-being by your generosity and awareness. They understand that it’s better when everyonedoes better. Their legacy is not a big bank account or a big house. It’s supporting small business, education or hospitals. 

 

There is so much wealth in this country in physical resources and in heart and intelligence. Let’s work together to make it a more level playing field and bring together the human and physical resources of this country. God, I want to be part of that and want you to join me in creating that. We all want to feel like we belong and that we are part of something. I’m asking you to be part of something honest and positive and that will make you and your children proud.

Dear Republicans, an opportunity for patriotism, pragmatism, or opportunism.

(I may be dreaming, but could the current president be the catalyst to bring the parties together? I think some have been hoping for this excuse to separate from Trump.)

Those who “understand” politics will tell you that it is a matter of compromise. Parties must adjust, give up on absolutes and accommodate to the circumstances. This is realistic, but a worrisome situation when we see that politicians are willing to compromise their integrity. Skill at rationalizing comes in handy in this process.

Those less skilled at rationalization, some loyal members of the Republican party, now seem to be trapped in an uncomfortable place, presenting both moral and practical dilemmas. It’s not an uncommon occurrence, having to deal with a very “difficult boss.” For their own safety or ambition, they must. Others are in the middle of a slow walk back to integrity.

          Those who spoke out early no doubt harbor a fear that he will retaliate. Mr. Trump is famous for his capacity to get back at those who have crossed him. Some Republicans had a moment of principle, when the tape of him bragging about grabbing women in the genitals came out. They spoke out, and now have to deal with the foreboding and cloud of what might be the consequences for this “lapse.”

Even those who didn’t speak out, now deal with the growing number of situations that make them wonder how long they can be silent, how long they can convince themselves that their silence will help them achieve the goals that fit with their politics. 

Some are willing to hold on until the bitter end, trusting the ends justify the means. But there are a few who are coming to recognize that such times create the opportunity for patriotism, even heroism

Some are so committed to the country and to their own personal integrity that they will oppose what is going on.  Moreover, there are members of the Republican party with such solid positions that they may not be vulnerable. They have less to lose in their opposition. There may even be some willing to risk their wonderful committee appointments or even their reelection to do what is right. Such leaders may give courage to others.

Others are astute at sniffing the air – they know the direction things are going and opportunism is their motivation. They have seen things in their constituents that have made it clear that they cannot just go along with situation in the White House.

         A third group is just practical. They’re the ones saying, “What?” What’s being proposed from the White House just does not make sense. They look at the funds that hard working citizens must give up to them. They see themselves as responsible to carry out their duty as honest, practical fiduciaries. 

So whether from heroism, opportunism or pragmatism, there are those in the Republican party who have an opportunity to step up and to do what is right

During my graduate research I studied the development of moral reasoning, analyzed my data in the morning and watched the Watergate hearings in the afternoon. I feel a bit of Deja vu—I watched the testimony of people at the lowest levels of moral reasoning, controlled by self-interest, authority or affinity to a group like them. It was rare but exhilarating to see the few who functioned at the true level of principle. There are signs of it now in the Grand Old Party. In an earlier op-ed in the Chicago Tribune I lamented that this is not my father's GOP. I hope there are those in the party who want to resurrect (resuscitate) what was once "grand" about the party.

When this heroism, pragmatism or even opportunism emerges, our job is not to gloat, not to say, “It’s about time,” or “I told you so.” Whatever the reason it will take a measure of courage. For some this step forward carries with it significant loss. Loss of position or loss of faith in the party they were devoted to. Some quiet respect and some admiration are perhaps the best reaction for those of us who see the dilemma that they have had to struggle through -- to reject the crazy, hateful and inept leadership. Perhaps they will even be the new leaders that can find the nirvana of common ground with the other party.

           Ironically, this president may actually be the catalyst for what many thought impossible. The common “enemy”, so obsessed with self and with so little concern for the country, may bring the sides together to find shared goals and realize they must work together for the good of our country.

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OUTRAGE FATIGUE? THEN JOIN THE "PERSISTENCE."

Outrage Fatigue? Then Join the “Persistence.”

People who work in the helping professions often experience a state described as “compassion fatigue” or burnout. They deal with so much that their capacity to feel can become dulled. The current situation following the campaign and election of Donald Trump has brought about a similar experience for many. That is “outrage fatigue”, the result of the almost daily news that is beyond belief, outrageous in words and actions. Since there seems to be no end in sight, how do we process this?  Can we sustain this level of upset without harm to our health?

I see some people so worn out, that to protect their mental health they have started to view the craziness and cruelty as the norm. Out of self defense, they are no longer outraged. Others have quit paying attention entirely, putting their energy elsewhere. Some have settled into the Kubler Ross stage of acceptance in the grief process. I have come to a stage of acceptance too, but it’s not the acceptance of this political situation; it’s an acceptance of the new role that I and others must now play as citizens of this wonderful country.

Psychological research indicates that those who are active in the face of a tragedy do better mentally in the long run. I and others are developing active strategies to respond to each new outrage that comes from the president-elect, his people and family. My menu of coping strategies includes a list of organizations that I send small donations to and a group of friends to call and rant with for a moment. But we don’t get stuck in a mutual hand wringing. Instead, after a little venting, we talk about what we are doing in response. And for comic relief, old episodes of SNL to watch again.

            Among my friends are ones with a specific cause or concern. Many are promoting more climate awareness and action. Some support initiatives in science and education. Others, civil rights organizations and issues. A few will work to protect Social Security, health care and other threads in the safety net. People are joining groups and starting groups. 

 I write letters to law makers on both sides. I wrote one to a Republican who has shown some evidence of a moral compass, concern for the country above party (I believe more will surface). I write to journalists and thank them for their work. I exchange emails with friends, sharing links on projects and organizations.

My small donations don’t amount to a lot. But each one soothes my spirit and keeps me from falling into a sense of powerlessness. Feeling powerless breeds lethargy -- why bother if you can’t do anything? Well, we can! It might be baby steps but there are millions of us taking those steps. We must not just be the “resistance”, but must be the PERSISTENCE—persevering toward specific positive goals. Among these are supporting journalists who find and tell the truth, schools that make our children smarter and kinder, institutions that create a more level playing field --where a true meritocracy exists.

Our power is in the truth and the faith that it will eventually prevail. Our power is in the kindness and compassion we will show to those who believed in Mr. Trump and eventually find themselves to have just been the most recent victims in his compulsion to self aggrandizement. Our power is in our restraint, when we want to say, “I told you so”, knowing that this phrase can often make people cling to a flawed path. We have to be careful not to fall into the efforts of some to emphasize the division. Ours is already the bigger tent and we can make room for more.

We also need to be mindful of how this situation and our reaction to it impacts our children. We have to modulate our own fears to protect them. While we might hold very strong views about Mr. Trump and his plans, it’s important that we provide some child-friendly reasons for why we hold these beliefs -- his disrespect for women, his tendency to lie, his arrogance, and his bullying behavior.  Equally important is having children see us do positive things to cope with and improve the situation.

I’m deeply troubled by the circumstance that brought us to this point, but I am heartened by the many actions that I see being taken. There are reports of a significant increase in newspaper subscriptions and growing numbers of people involved in individual and group efforts. There is a ground swell, a bubbling up of energy.

 The sleeping giant is awake. We may be a little stiff from our long nap of trust and comfort, but we are moving and speaking out. Since there are more of us, our voices together will drown out the ignorant prejudice voices, not with angry shouts, but with a hopeful chorus.

I’m angry, but I’m excited by the energy I see around me. At one recent holiday party we concluded that many of the young people are so busy working to afford their rent that they can’t lead the “persistence”; it’s up to us, retired and semi-retired, to take up the cause. Even if our knees don’t make marching the preferred action, we have other methods.

The path ahead, given the mercurial personality in charge, is unpredictable, but we are not. We know that we have to focus and not get distracted by the “shiny object” that is frequently dangled to distract us from real issues. Soon the press and everyone else will be wise to that, and when he starts tweeting about locking up flag burners or about the nonexistent war on Christmas -- we will all respond, “Oh, shiny object again, now what is the real issue we are being pulled away from?" We will be smart, kind and united. Through many paths, we will move in a direction that considers the well-being of all – including the ones that once believed him.


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